Tag Archives: Life

What I say is what I am…

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I was in dance school when the concept of language really became interesting to me.  Funny that as I’m learning to communicate without words their importance became so clear.  Teachers there began to talk about what (and how) you say and it made me realize the words we choose and the way we say it has a huge affect on our behaviour/actions.

As I continued my teaching (as a gymnastics coach, dance & yoga teacher) I try to be very conscious of what I say.  Our words can be limiting or opening, negative or positive, defeating or empowering, etc.  When we speak with children our awareness is often heightened because of a role we play in their development.  As Peggy O’Mara says “The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.”

Speaking out loud helps us to register what we’re actually saying.  (Hopefully) We choose our words to others carefully and selectively, but what about what we say to ourselves?  This post comes about as I prepare for a 2km erg test in a few hours.  It’s not a lot of fun.  Basically (for me) 8ish minutes of pain.  And so I’ve been thinking about what I will say to myself in those moments…. when it starts to hurt, when the doubt is louder than the faith, when I want to quit, when I don’t know why I’m doing this in the first place, and I could go on and on.

You are what you believe yourself to be – Paulo Coelho

Everything in life is about choices.  What we think and what we say are exactly that.  A little while ago I posted about choosing which thoughts to surf, and I have to remember that today.  Because even though there are moments where the voices of doubt grow louder, the belief, positivity and joy are still in there… I just have to play DJ and adjust the levels a bit to drown the bad ones out!

And so in this challenge today (and in every other aspect of my life), I will not let my head be my own worst enemy.  I will not defeat myself before I begin.  I will choose to believe, and if I begin to think thoughts that aren’t supporting me I will ask myself what I would say to a child, or to you… and then I will listen to the trust grow within me, and know that I can overcome anything, that with my relentless spirit I will do more than get through it I will conquer.

Thanks for this little public pep talk.  Think about the words you say to yourself and the thoughts you think.  Manifest the good within you and watch it blossom!

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

You can do it BABY

International Day of Happiness: 30 Minutes of Wonderful

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DOH aim

Today is the first International Day of Happiness as resolved and declared by the United Nations.  It is a concerted effort to collectively change our way of thinking and acting so that we may create a happier society (and world) through bringing happiness to others.  Check on the website to take the pledge, find out how you can nominate a happy hero, send Cheers or learn Actions for Happiness.

A year or so ago I had the privilege of watching a documentary on happiness called Happy.  This incredibly moving film inspired me on many levels as it interviewed and examined peoples’ lives and experiences in different countries and cultures.  For 72 hours, they are renting the film for only $2.99!!! I highly recommend you watch it.  (click on Happy to go to the website!)

Finally, there is an idea that has been germinating inside of me for a little while.  One of my favourite films growing up was Steel Magnolias.  In it, is one of my all time favourite quotes:
I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful, than a lifetime full of nothing special.

And so I’m kickstarting my THIRTY MINUTES OF WONDERFUL project!
I am challenging myself (and you) to do something that makes you happy, feel joy, bliss and is wonderful for thirty minutes EACH day!  Take pictures of it, write a comment to me about it, encourage your friends and family to join you!  And remember variety is the spice of life.  Maybe your wonderful will be singing or having a dance party in your kitchen or living room, perhaps it will be trying a new recipe, or picking up the phone and speaking to a friend or loved one.  Maybe it will be getting your sweat on – hitting the gym, the yoga or pilates studio or busting out a killer wod!  Go down the slide with your kids, make crafts, paint a picture, write a poem, take a picture, snuggle your pet!

The aim is to:
* Set aside quality time for you and for feeling good each day
* Make it a decided and focused task (put away the electronics – at least some of the time)
* Choose things that make your body, mind, and soul grow and shine
* Connect with others and share your happiness and pleasure in what you’re doing
* Slow down and learn to appreciate the incredible things that fill your life
* Expand your horizons by trying new things
* Smile, laugh, love and overflow with bliss!

Please join me on this new adventure!  I hope to expand this project to another area of my webpage – but please bear with me (my tech director is currently busy with a big boat race hehe).  I would love to hear from you with your comments, ideas, suggestions and of course how YOU spent your Thirty Minutes of Wonderful!  Email me at erika@erikahoward.ca

Today I’m going to dance class and will enjoy exploring movement and music with some pretty wonderful people – and then some wine and laughs with good friends!  Bring on the bliss!!!

Find your happiness, share it & see it grow...

Find your happiness, share it & see it grow…

Feel Good News: March 19

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Wow. Talk about Terrific Tuesday!
This is going to be a smorgasbord of things to make you FEEL GOOD, find GRATITUDE, SMILE, LAUGH, and hopefully radiate more HAPPINESS.

Thanks to my wonderful sister in law, it was brought to my attention that tomorrow is actually the first UN International Day of Happiness!  Visit the website and sign the pledge: I will try to create more happiness in the world around me.  Let’s help happiness spread like wildfire (or perhaps like contagious laughter) and share some good feelings, good deeds and good actions in your community.  Use the #happyday hashtag on twitter… and then keep going!  And make every day a happy one for you & those around you!!!

One of my “keys to happiness” is GRATITUDE.  If you find yourself struggling to find the joy in your life, discovering the little things you’re grateful for may help to open that door.  To combat depression and seek happiness this is exactly what Hailey did when she began her 365 Grateful project.  As a photographer she captured images of little things in her day that she loved and was thankful for.  It has subsequently become a book and is in production to become a film!  Visit the website to learn more, and to unleash the “extraordinary power of gratitude”.

From time to time I think we all struggle to find the joy in life.  It’s often due to the stresses of our every day lives.  Pressures and deadlines in our jobs, being overwhelmed by our to do lists and the lack of time to get things done, and the want for more down time (or in my case currently – too much down time).  I find myself fighting the flow of life.  Like a fish trying to swim upstream I waste so much energy trying to be happy.  When in fact, I think that deep down our true nature is one of happiness.  I believe that as children we come into this world with a certain understanding of ourselves and of life.  I believe it is this knowledge that feeds our intuition and instincts.  However our challenge in life is that we experience and are taught things that may veer from this innate truth.  That is why I love and appreciate children so much.  Some of the things they say reveal their understanding and how they see the world.  Watch this video and take a peek at some of the incredible insights of this nine year old:

Can you let go of your head and trust your instincts?  Listen to that voice deep inside and know your truth…

Finally, this is a feel good video that may move you to tears (ok it may just be me and my ‘over active tear ducts’).  Before I moved to England, I had the privilege of working with Special Olympians in rhythmic gymnastics.  It was such an incredible opportunity that filled me with love and helped my heart grow bigger than the grinch’s!!! This video was taken from Dale Lowe’s blog.  Kitchener, Ontario will host the Special Olympics International Tournament over the next few days and this video (taken last year) shows an incredible example of the spirit of sport and what true sportsmanship is!

The motto this year is “Yes I Can”.
You can too.
You can be grateful. You can be happy. You can share your joy and inspire others.  You can do good deeds and help others.  You can trust yourself and know that you are a part of this incredible web of life and the universe.  You can make a difference. You can be the difference.

 

The man with a turnip for a head…

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With a little extra day time hours on my hands, the internet becomes a great abyss (and a great time waster).  But I am thankful for it from time to time when I come across little jems like this: The Man with a Turnip for a Head.  Joseph Gordon-Levitt has a production company called hitRECord.  It features video, image, audio and text from online collaborators – and when you upload something you can share in any profits made.  A pretty cool concept, and a nice way for someone to use his notoriety to promote others!

Take a peek at this wonderful little short narrated by Gary Oldman.

So what’s your turnip?
I think we all have turnips whether they can be seen externally or not.  We have our little hang ups and things we tend to obsess over.  What causes these sensitivities may be a variety of reasons… I now have a knee that doesn’t bend the same.  It’s not a big deal – except if you want to be a dancer or squat a lot of weight (aka live my life).  But I’ve had to accept that it’s who and what I am.  And by integrating my turnip I empower myself to overcome any disadvantages (perceived or actual) it may cause.

If you’re into crossfit there are some videos going around that showcase this.  A man in a wheelchair doing burpees, or a woman who broke her leg doing one-legged burpees!  But there are many more: like this man with brain cancer who won a marathon while pushing his daughter in a stroller! These are examples of people who own their turnip, and don’t let a situation own them… we all have choices to make in how we deal with what happens to us in life.  If we honour the things that make us vulnerable they won’t zap our strength.  And in doing so we then become open to accepting differences in others.  We all want to be accepted and supported.  Treating yourself and others with kindness and grace is how to achieve this.  Some people have no trouble showing compassion to others yet cannot demonstrate the same thinking to themselves.  If you don’t appreciate and love yourself, how can others?

Embrace all that makes you YOU.  It creates a rich tapestry that weaves together your strengths, differences and unique qualities and makes you stronger as a result.

Feel Good News: Sunday March 10

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Perhaps you live in North America and the clocks went ahead (and you missed Justin Timberlake on SNL).  Perhaps it’s just a little dreary outside and they’re forecasting snow (and you live in England and missed Justin Timberlake on SNL).  Maybe you live far from a friend or loved one and while you aren’t a worm and don’t communicate through snuggling you still wish you could cuddle up to someone or hold hands like otters…

Ok those last few things may not make a whole lot of sense – but read this article, smile, pretend to be a worm or an otter or the little boy with the Princess and go out and have yourself a good day!

http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/the-happiest-facts-of-all-time

 

Have you hugged yourself today?

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This is a beautiful and touching TEDx talk.  Grab a cup of tea and sit down and be reminded what life is about…

It’s true that helping others is one of the most ‘selfish’ acts …nothing is quite so self-serving as the act of service to another.  What have you done today to aid another?

The crap or cone technique is brilliant.  Our thinking creates our reality.  What do you want to choose to focus on?  What do you want to attract in your life – 31 flavours or more poop?  It may seem silly, it may seem simple.  But in fact if you can master this – letting go of the negative – you will be happier, healthier and way more successful.

One of my favourite daily emails says Thoughts become things…. Choose the good ones!

Feel Good News: February 11

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This video is pretty incredible.  A 15 year old who’s family friend died of Pancreatic Cancer decided to research and develop a new method for diagnosing cancer for a Science Project.  He developed a paper sensor that could detect pancreatic, ovarian and lung cancer in five minutes for as little as 3 cents…. and he fully admits that at the beginning of his project he didn’t even know he had a pancreas!  

We have so many resources as at our finger tips… How will you use your knowledge, talent and power to make a difference in the world?

The definition of me

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How do you define yourself?  Do you use your job (a teacher, doctor, lawyer, stay-at-home)? Do you use your hobbies/passions (yogi, crossfitter, runner, knitter, scrapbooker)? Do you use your family (mom, dad, sister, brother, cousin, aunt)?  Do you use your accomplishments (success, failure, graduate, Olympian)?

Success definition

The concept of defining oneself has come to my mind a number of times in the last year.  Things started to hit home when I came to London for the Olympics and was surrounded by everything that alluded me.  If you’ve read my earlier posts you know that while a small part of me is saddened by the fact that I didn’t make the Olympic team (twice), you will also know it’s likely the best thing that ever happened to me.  But accepting that also meant accepting the fact that I could never call myself an Olympian – although in reality I was pretty much everything but.  In London I would also be Malcolm Howard’s wife.  Being Mrs. Howard is always a source of pride, yet to be known through someone else somehow diminishes one’s own accomplishments and identity.

It’s the same when you go to a party and meet new people and everyone starts out with “what do you do?”.  Often I feel like replying “what don’t I do?” How can you be defined by one thing.  Exactly, you can’t.  The definition of me is always changing.  As life evolves, I learn and grow and evolve too (one hopes!).

I thought about this as my husband and his teammates prepare and begin selection for the 2013 Boat Race.  These men have given years of their life to their sport, just like I did (way back when).  They put other aspects of their lives on hold, and risk failing in other areas like their education or personal lives because of the high demands required.  And so many things can go wrong.  They can get injured, sick, or those other ‘demands’ might get too demanding.  Achievement often means every star is perfectly aligned.  I first realized that as an athlete, and now I see it repeatedly as a coach and supporter.  People who could and should win, don’t.  And sometimes the people whom you never thought would be in the picture suddenly come through because everything came together at exactly the right moment.  Is it timing? Fate? Luck? Perhaps.  Maybe it is our destiny. Or maybe it is just life.  Some things go for us, some against us.  And in those times when life seems against us, and we feel like a failure – that is when we must learn, and grow, and evolve.  Winning is easy.  Not achieving what you want, but acting like a winner is TOUGH!  Seeing someone else living your dreams means you must swallow your ego and appreciate their journey.

But there’s that magical word. Journey.  Just because I took the entire road to get to the Olympics but can never call myself an Olympian – does that make me less than someone who can?  No.  And anyone who thinks it does has obviously never walked that line.

The next time you stare down your dreams and do everything in your power to achieve them – know that you can already define yourself as a winner. As strong. As courageous.  As a success.  Regardless of the outcome.

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Does this seem familiar?

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Sometimes I wonder if there are any new ideas… Ok that’s an over simplification. But really, many things in life are theme and variation.  Watch this video for a striking example!

Same four chords. Hits galore.
But do you ever get stuck on putting something out there in the world because it’s already been done?

Recently I’ve been wanting to take this whole blogging thing to another level. Yet, as I receive some of the daily emails from Life Coaches/Motivators/Bloggers-extraordinaire I begin to question: Does the world really need another one?

HECK YA!
Listening to that video, I laughed in so many places and was surprised by the number of songs that I enjoyed and would never have linked together like that.  Of course that may be due to my poor musical knowledge, but let’s skim over that shall we!

What sets each song apart, is the same thing that will differentiate what you are doing.  YOU! It’s what you bring to what you are doing.  When you infuse your passion, your heart, your brilliance, your talent, your creativity (perhaps in this example it’s about lyrics versus chords etc), your joy – that’s what resonates with people.

Think of this in another way.  Rainbows.  One is brilliant. Two is… a DOUBLE RAINBOW. Which is way more than doubly awesome!

So go out today, and bring your own version of magic to what’s already been done!  You might just be the next #1 HIT!

Do one thing a day that scares you

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Fear is defined as an unpleasant often strong emotion.  We resist unpleasant feelings, and yet these are often the times where much growth, learning and development happen.  Here’s a video of a young boy overcoming his fears to much celebration.  I think we would commend not only his talent but foremost his strength and courage.  We admire it so much in others… so the next time you are fearing an activity perhaps instead of thinking of the unpleasant outcome recognize that you may be inspiring those around you.

Don’t let your fears stand in the way of your dreams.