Tag Archives: Malcolm

Harry

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I never had the privilege of meeting him, but for the number of times Malcolm has spoken about him I feel like I’ve meet Harry Parker many times.  He was an incredible coach, and a wonderful man.  It is always tragic when the life of someone so gifted is cut shorter than everyone would hope, but his wisdom and passion will exist forever in the hearts and minds of all those he taught, inspired and who’s lives he impacted.

Coaching (or teaching as Harry said in the video below) is one of those blessed professions where you have the ability to make a huge difference in other people’s lives.  And with the best teachers/coaches, more often than not, the greatest impact has very little to do with the subject matter.  My favourite teachers and coaches have helped me in every aspect of my life, become a better person as I picked up those skills/knowledge.  I have seen the impact that Harry has had on my husband, and I know the greatest legacy is to honour those teachings by one’s every day actions.  So Harry, thank you for the role you played in helping shape Malcolm into the incredible man, athlete and rower he is today.

Harry Parker: Why We Row video
Row2K Remembrance Article
Harvard Crimson Article
Harry and Abigail: Doubles Race at Head of the Charles 2012

Torpids

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“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek. Fear of the unknown is our greatest fear. Many of us would enter a tiger’s lair before we would enter a dark cave. While caution is a useful instinct, we lose many opportunities and much of the adventure of life if we fail to support the curious explorer within us.” ~ Joseph Campbell

The last two years of my life have been about rowing. It is something that we’ve lived, breathed, ate & slept. Of course up until four months ago I hadn’t sat in a boat or picked up an oar.

My life was about helping my husband, Malcolm Howard in his quest for a second Olympic medal.  After he and his teammates achieved that goal in London this summer, we moved to Oxford in order for him to pursue his Masters.  With little to do initially, I jokingly said to the OUWBC President who was coaching some of the Oriel Novice Women “Should I learn to row?”.  The next day I had a tank session.  And that’s how my rowing career began.

I took to the water after two tank sessions, likely under some false preconceived ideas of what it would be like.  After watching Olympic crews I knew I wasn’t going to be good, but I  didn’t think the suck would be so bad.  I came off the water that day in tears and has VERY reluctant to go back.

The next outing was an inter-college mini regatta. My crew won. Things were looking up.  After a long pause for my return-to-Canada-Visa-trip and the Holidays it was back to training.  This was where things actually got fun.

I began to like erg-ing. Anyone who has done Crossfit with me knows my disdain for the erg.  I think it was invented as a torture device.  BUT, little did I know I would enjoy 25 minutes pieces, and be thrilled to be back in the gym doing circuits and pushing hard to build strength and fitness.

The weather in England has not been very rowing friendly this year.  Flooding meant many red flags and ‘closures’ of the Isis.  While this did mean some fun trips to Wallingford (including one where Malcolm and the OUBC squad were training as well… talk about trying to keep your head in the boat while your husband yells “ERIKA” as you row by!), it also meant that the ‘newbies’ didn’t get out on the water as much as we’d hoped.

Then the 6th week of term arrived. I had been away in Canada for a wedding and returned to Oxford just in time for Rowing On.  This is when boats in the lower categories have to race a time trial in order to qualify and rank themselves for Torpids.  I’m happy I remembered how to row, having not been in a boat for a few weeks, and even happier to say we qualified!

Now the task will be getting the boat to move quickly, while we keep our focus amidst the craziness around us.  I’m not 100% sure what the experience will be like, but BUMPS racing is insane. Boats are lined up along the river according to ranking, and the objective is to catch and overtake or bump the crew in front of you.  I feel like it’s rowing+american gladiators… and I’m oh-so looking forward to it!

Hopefully I will have many stories to share by the end of the week!
Keep your fingers crossed for us and send some Oriel love this way 🙂

“The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential… these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.”
~ Confucious

P.S The boat race is only 33 days away.  Check out theboatrace.org for information or whichblueareyou.com to vote for Oxford and the Dark Blue!!!!

P.P.S Next year stay tuned for when Malcolm takes up either dancing or rhythmic gymnastics (we’ll be holding a vote for you to decide which!!!!)

The definition of me

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How do you define yourself?  Do you use your job (a teacher, doctor, lawyer, stay-at-home)? Do you use your hobbies/passions (yogi, crossfitter, runner, knitter, scrapbooker)? Do you use your family (mom, dad, sister, brother, cousin, aunt)?  Do you use your accomplishments (success, failure, graduate, Olympian)?

Success definition

The concept of defining oneself has come to my mind a number of times in the last year.  Things started to hit home when I came to London for the Olympics and was surrounded by everything that alluded me.  If you’ve read my earlier posts you know that while a small part of me is saddened by the fact that I didn’t make the Olympic team (twice), you will also know it’s likely the best thing that ever happened to me.  But accepting that also meant accepting the fact that I could never call myself an Olympian – although in reality I was pretty much everything but.  In London I would also be Malcolm Howard’s wife.  Being Mrs. Howard is always a source of pride, yet to be known through someone else somehow diminishes one’s own accomplishments and identity.

It’s the same when you go to a party and meet new people and everyone starts out with “what do you do?”.  Often I feel like replying “what don’t I do?” How can you be defined by one thing.  Exactly, you can’t.  The definition of me is always changing.  As life evolves, I learn and grow and evolve too (one hopes!).

I thought about this as my husband and his teammates prepare and begin selection for the 2013 Boat Race.  These men have given years of their life to their sport, just like I did (way back when).  They put other aspects of their lives on hold, and risk failing in other areas like their education or personal lives because of the high demands required.  And so many things can go wrong.  They can get injured, sick, or those other ‘demands’ might get too demanding.  Achievement often means every star is perfectly aligned.  I first realized that as an athlete, and now I see it repeatedly as a coach and supporter.  People who could and should win, don’t.  And sometimes the people whom you never thought would be in the picture suddenly come through because everything came together at exactly the right moment.  Is it timing? Fate? Luck? Perhaps.  Maybe it is our destiny. Or maybe it is just life.  Some things go for us, some against us.  And in those times when life seems against us, and we feel like a failure – that is when we must learn, and grow, and evolve.  Winning is easy.  Not achieving what you want, but acting like a winner is TOUGH!  Seeing someone else living your dreams means you must swallow your ego and appreciate their journey.

But there’s that magical word. Journey.  Just because I took the entire road to get to the Olympics but can never call myself an Olympian – does that make me less than someone who can?  No.  And anyone who thinks it does has obviously never walked that line.

The next time you stare down your dreams and do everything in your power to achieve them – know that you can already define yourself as a winner. As strong. As courageous.  As a success.  Regardless of the outcome.

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365 days of Awesome.

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Even though there are miles between us, and eight hours time difference, today my dearest and I celebrated our One Year Anniversary.  There were perhaps less candles and romantic dinners than most typical anniversaries, however Malcolm and I don’t tend to do things in the ‘normal’ way.  And even though we weren’t together for our anniversary, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Supporting one another through our hopes and dreams (and challenges) is perhaps one of our strongest qualities.  Also, I have always found that for us distance simply serves to reinforce all that we love about one another, and enhances our communication.  I know it was during the periods of long distance (where we would have to email, bbm, or talk on the phone) that I fell in love… because that is when we became friends.

My idols in relationships are the couples I see (who look like they’ve been together for 50+ years), and who simply sit there holding hands; or when one gets something for the other even before they ask; how they have long talks and debates but could share space in silence for hours. They are friends first and foremost, and lovers (a close but important) second.  That is my goal for our marriage.  And from the first year, I feel like we’re off to a good start.

We had two beloved friends speak during our ceremony and I thought I would share again the words that touched us so deeply:

Love
I love you
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.
I love you
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what you are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me that you bring out.
I love you for putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can’t help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.
I love you because you
Are helping to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple,
Out of the words
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.
I love you because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good,
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
You have done it

Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.
– Roy Croft
(as read by Lynndsey Larre)

From T.S Eliot’s Four Quartets
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
Through the unknown, unremembered gate
When the last of earth left to discover
Is that which was the beginning
(as part of a reading by Aaron Holzapfel)

So in life (as in love), may we all continue to discover ourselves over & over… and in that knowledge may we become better partners, friends, lovers, siblings, offspring, parents, employees & people.  May we realize that throughout the up and down journey there are so many lessons and opportunities, and throughout it all if we can keep smiling, keep our sense of humour, share a little and perhaps leave things a little better it will be an incredible ride. Enjoy the journey. And to my love – it’s been a wicked ride so far and this is just the beginning. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! ~ eh.

Here are some of our pictures taken by the incredible Lisa Mark (ps. more to come)

New Adventure: Prologue

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Today, Malcolm departed for Oxford and so it begins: The NEW Adventure! (Although my Nanna would argue that it’s just the next, as the world is our home and we’re on adventures constantly).  I haven’t departed quite yet, I’m letting my husband chivalrously set up our flat and scope things out, but I will be joining him in a few weeks!

It all feels much more real now – the fact that we’re moving to a new country, leaving our friends and family (for a year or so), starting school again (Malcolm), trying to find a job (me), and getting our first place together (OH NO, what will we do without our Mom/Mum).  My Mother has a brilliant saying: “the anticipation is worse than the participation”  Now you might think from that quote that I am not SUPER DUPER excited – which would be false. My use of cap-locks demonstrates I am clearly thrilled. However, it is change, which brings with it not only incredible possibilities but also the need to let go (which, when you are a control-aholic like me is an itsybitsy bit challenging).  I do think that change is good for us. And I know this coming year is going to be an eye-opening, mind expanding, awe inspiring, heart filling adventure and I am totally up for it!

Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be. -John Wooden 

Before we headed off, we were joined by two dear friends of ours for a brief visit while they were on the West Coast.  Sharing in laughs and catching up makes me very very happy!  I am constantly overwhelmed at how blessed I am to have so many wonderful people in my life. For me, this is what makes my life complete – the people I get to share it with!  So if you are reading this – you’re likely one of those people that makes such a positive contribution to my life, sharing your love, hugs, insight, knowledge & support (no matter where in this world you are), and for that I thank you!

An image I took during my visit to NY.

It also feels appropriate to begin this adventure on this day 9/11… a day that will always reinforce our perspective of what is truly important.  My thoughts are with the people who give so much of themselves not only in times of crisis, but on a daily basis. And my mind also goes to those who are my personal heroes… my anchors.  Your service, your support and your selflessness help and unite us all.

I saw this quote (below) today, and I feel it is an apt reminder for us all.

Fortune favours the brave. — Virgil

Keep your head up, your heart open, your mind focused and your nerves steeled… believe in your dreams, go after adventures, and know what a difference you can make (after all we’re in this together). ~ eh.

Both images were taken during my 2007 Visit to NY.

 

Let the hangover begin!!!

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In as many ways as the Olympics start with a bang, they also finish equally abruptly.  It is quite remarkable how something you plan and prepare for, for years is suddenly upon you… and then it’s all over in what feels like the blink of an eye.  Yesterday, as I had some time to myself I began to realize the overwhelming surge of emotions that I had obviously suppressed (for the most part).  The Olympics is inevitably one of the greatest emotional roller coasters of all time. Someone you know (or at least feel an affinity for) is experiencing their greatest triumph or their greatest defeat.  If someone you love/care about/know is competing, you want, so very strongly, for them to perform well and yet have no capacity to do anything other than love, wish, pray, and cheer. (And we all know I do a lot of all of these – especially the latter. Which is why this picture was so meaningful to me!)

A billboard in London that captures my sentiments exactly!

But enough about that. What’s happened has happened. It is impossible to stay up all of the time, and it was a remarkable few weeks. Besides as Dr. Seuss once wrote: “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

And smile I did. Of course my husband winning a silver had a lot to do with it.  To see their ability to overcome themselves, unite, refocus and then do what they are capable of was remarkable. (If you just get out of your own way… it’s amazing what will come to you. -Laird Hamilton.)  It was also a lot of fun catching other events, taking in the atmosphere and pride of Great Britain and cheering on incredibly talented athletes.

But, one of the most fun parts was doing analysis for CTV. If you know me (and likely for most of you reading this, you know me well), you know that it is a role I would treasure. It is in fact a role I have been rehearsing for most of my life.  You see, when I was a young girl, not only would I practice gymnastics in my back yard, but after my routine I would interview myself. Destiny? Fate? Perhaps…

Jumping into a position you’ve never done while the entire nation is watching is, to put it mildly, slightly nerve wracking. I kept reminding myself that the majority of people watching were going to be the people who love me most, and like my mother, well you’re stuck with me and I’m pretty sure you’d still love me regardless of the outcome.  BUT, I have to say I was surprised, pleased and overwhelmed with the outpouring of positive comments and support. Thank you one and all for your kind messages!  My artistic gymnastics counterpart Kyle Shewfelt, warned me not to look at twitter or facebook during the broadcast – and with much hesitation I went against his advice. Thankfully at this point no one has highlighted those moments where I stuck my foot in my mouth, or began to go down one path and half way down realized “ahhh I don’t want to be here!” so I aborted mission.  If you do have constructive criticism I would eventually like to hear it (lovingly wrapped in kindness of course), because hopefully this will not be my last broadcasting opportunity.

On set with Rod Black ready to tape the Review/Preview

I think it was so much fun because I was working with one of the best – Rod Black. He along with the production team were so helpful and nurturing, guiding me the whole way along.  I was lucky to be in London so that I had a chance to check out the venue since initially CTV wanted me to ‘call it’ from Toronto.  In fact, perhaps you were not aware but the whole time Rod and I were in a little black booth in the International Broadcast Centre!!!

Our little black booth

It’s too bad we didn’t get to experience it live, but I’m not complaining. The accreditation pass I received is too good to be true – and if I ever make it to another Olympic Games I don’t know how I’d live without one. There were even a few times where I could get somewhere and Malcolm couldn’t – a shocking first, and second, and…. (hehehe)

 

As I lived and breathed these last few weeks in my various capacities I often wondered what makes the Olympics so special.  It is so powerful to be a part of the World coming together to celebrate people’s dreams, their excellence through work & passion, and to unite in harmony.  We revel in the stories regardless of sport, nation, or gender. But there is magic beyond this.  Perhaps it is because unlike the NHL with it’s 82 games per season, or the MLB with 162 (!!!), these competitors have one shot. Everything must come together in this particular moment in time. And what a challenge that is. For every athlete that wins there are so many more that are fighting for that podium. For every athlete that qualifies and competes there are thousands who have been so close. Yes, Olympians are incredible… but can’t it really be about the journey and not the destination (even in the aftermath of London 2012)?!

The lack of over saturation of amateur sport and the Olympics helps to maintain its allure and importance.  Yet many of these athletes (after taking a brief pause) will be back training for Rio very soon.  One person who always remembered – in the good times, the bad, and before they were stars was Randy Starkman.  He was a journalist, but more importantly a friend and advocate of amateur athletes, always caring more about the person than the story.  When he died suddenly in April of this year, the sporting world mourned. It was an honour to attend a breakfast remembering Randy and the legacy he left behind.

One of the catch phrases of these Olympics was “Inspiring a Generation”.  I know I was personally moved and motivated by the performances I saw, by the people who made the  Games happen (the volunteers were outstanding), by the triumphs and those who rose out of the ashes, and by the friendships gained along the way.  I hope you have been inspired as much I have – and I hope that we can all continue to give life to the Olympic ideals until the next torch is lit in Rio.

PS. I say this like the Para-Olympic Games aren’t just a few weeks away! PHEW, we couldn’t just end it right there… please be sure to tune in. If you thought you were already inspired, you haven’t seen anything yet!!!!

Taking in the excitement of Olympic Park

 

What goes up… must come down ;)

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The Olympics are a roller coaster. They have to be. No one can stay UP that long. Furthermore inherently when there is a winner – there are those that don’t win… I’m not using the L word because NO ONE here is that awful five letter word. They are all champions, they are all heroes.

Yesterday in particular was one of those days… it was utterly heartbreaking to see Paula Findley’s experience.  The dangerous course took it’s tool on her, as well as the challenging year she’s had.  She is a tremendous athlete and person.  I know that this experience however frustrating and ‘saddening’ is truly going to make her even better in the long run. That has always been my experience.  We (Malcolm, Anita, Alex & I) were at Canada Olympic House when the Cycling team pursuit and Trampoline were on.  From the lowest of lows, to literally the highest of highs (Rosie & Karen) when Canada won it’s first Olympic Medal and Karen showed true class in her fourth Olympics.

Yesterday was also a low day for me… although I suppose going to bed at 5:30 am will do that to you 😉 I think “it” all finally got to me. The highs, the emotions, the lack of sleep. Yesterday I was a wreck. AND I was loosing my voice. A slight occupational hazard when the Commentary has yet to begin… Well, as my mom has always called me ‘wretched excess’ so it’s really no surprise.  Alas, it’s time to get a bit of balance.

It is hard not to do everything – or try to.  But the distance of where we’re staying, the distances to walk at all of the venues, and the crowds make it all seem like a battle to get to where you’re going.  Olympic Park is vast and when you put that in combination with millions of people it’s not a place I’ve enjoyed very much thus far.  But, I suppose if it’s a fight to get to the Olympics for the athletes why should it be any different for us?!

I suppose now I should talk about what you’re all likely wondering: Is Prince Harry really that cute in person? Malcolm (and I) did have the honour of representing the Rowers during Prince Harry’s visit to Canada Olympic House. It was a pleasure to meet him – he truly is very kind and generous, and very relaxed… I have a tendency to think “he’s just another guy who was born into a certain life”… but it is impressive what he’s done with his life and his position.  The most fun was watching how easy the conversation was as Malcolm talked Apache helicopters during the race… boys will be boys 😉

Anyways. The day is calling and there’s always a tonne to do. I should head off but hopefully the next post will be a little more frequent and I will try to post some pictures too. Here’s to another great day!!!!

Silver’s SO SWEET!

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WOW. All I can say is what an incredible journey and triumph this has been!

This is short & sweet (but still not as sweet as that silver baby)… I don’t have much time as I have to head to the celebrations! BUT, I wanted to say a HUGE thank you to all of our dear friends and family for their continuous love and support.  You have all had a wonderful impact and influence, and it truly means so much!

I hope you will understand my inability to respond to each one of your facebook comments/messages just yet. BUT, we definitely feel the love and truly truly are so grateful for your kind words!

I know this is the sign of things to come for the Rowers and Team Canada… GIVE YOUR EVERYTHING!!! (And the boys definitely did!)

Much love & big cheers all around xoxo
~ EH!!!!!!

One breath, one stroke at a time

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The Olympics are a ride. An emotional and physical roller coaster. But we wouldn’t have it any other way would we?

I’m very excited to watch my anchor, my rock, my husband Malcolm and the CDN Men’s 8+ carpe diem tomorrow. His mantra: One breath, one stroke at a time. It’s going to happen. I feel it with every cell in my body, and every fibre of my being.  The Heavyweights are definitely going to “GIVE YOUR EVERYTHING”!

This afternoon I watched TV, and took in all of the other sports. I know this is kind of a silly statement, but THE OLYMPICS ARE AWESOME. To see a young girl clean and jerk 131 kg, to watch the Canadian Women’s gymnastics team qualify for the team finals for the first time EVER, to see the swimmers, the divers, the badminton, table tennis, the list goes on and on….  It’s incredible.

I apologise for not writing sooner – I was finessing my internet/phone situation.  I hope to be updating more.

Highlights so far:
– listening to the Four Tenors sing O’Canada and Hallelujah
– using my media pass to get in… pretty much everywhere #score 😉
– cheering my heart out for the incredible rowing team (One stroke, one breath!)
– watching the Women’s gymnastics team make history (ok it was on tv but still…)
– walking every where
and I know this is just the beginning.

Finally, this is perhaps redundant but I love my husband. If absence makes the heart grow fonder, being so close to someone and not being able to ‘BE’ with them must make it grow even more!  Well if love can be the fuel, I know that man will have a full tank!

From Malcolm and myself thank you one and all for your support. It truly does mean so much!!! And now to bed, we have a big day tomorrow 😉