Harry

I never had the privilege of meeting him, but for the number of times Malcolm has spoken about him I feel like I’ve meet Harry Parker many times.  He was an incredible coach, and a wonderful man.  It is always tragic when the life of someone so gifted is cut shorter than everyone would hope, but his wisdom and passion will exist forever in the hearts and minds of all those he taught, inspired and who’s lives he impacted.

Coaching (or teaching as Harry said in the video below) is one of those blessed professions where you have the ability to make a huge difference in other people’s lives.  And with the best teachers/coaches, more often than not, the greatest impact has very little to do with the subject matter.  My favourite teachers and coaches have helped me in every aspect of my life, become a better person as I picked up those skills/knowledge.  I have seen the impact that Harry has had on my husband, and I know the greatest legacy is to honour those teachings by one’s every day actions.  So Harry, thank you for the role you played in helping shape Malcolm into the incredible man, athlete and rower he is today.

Harry Parker: Why We Row video
Row2K Remembrance Article
Harvard Crimson Article
Harry and Abigail: Doubles Race at Head of the Charles 2012

What I say is what I am…

I was in dance school when the concept of language really became interesting to me.  Funny that as I’m learning to communicate without words their importance became so clear.  Teachers there began to talk about what (and how) you say and it made me realize the words we choose and the way we say it has a huge affect on our behaviour/actions.

As I continued my teaching (as a gymnastics coach, dance & yoga teacher) I try to be very conscious of what I say.  Our words can be limiting or opening, negative or positive, defeating or empowering, etc.  When we speak with children our awareness is often heightened because of a role we play in their development.  As Peggy O’Mara says “The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.”

Speaking out loud helps us to register what we’re actually saying.  (Hopefully) We choose our words to others carefully and selectively, but what about what we say to ourselves?  This post comes about as I prepare for a 2km erg test in a few hours.  It’s not a lot of fun.  Basically (for me) 8ish minutes of pain.  And so I’ve been thinking about what I will say to myself in those moments…. when it starts to hurt, when the doubt is louder than the faith, when I want to quit, when I don’t know why I’m doing this in the first place, and I could go on and on.

You are what you believe yourself to be – Paulo Coelho

Everything in life is about choices.  What we think and what we say are exactly that.  A little while ago I posted about choosing which thoughts to surf, and I have to remember that today.  Because even though there are moments where the voices of doubt grow louder, the belief, positivity and joy are still in there… I just have to play DJ and adjust the levels a bit to drown the bad ones out!

And so in this challenge today (and in every other aspect of my life), I will not let my head be my own worst enemy.  I will not defeat myself before I begin.  I will choose to believe, and if I begin to think thoughts that aren’t supporting me I will ask myself what I would say to a child, or to you… and then I will listen to the trust grow within me, and know that I can overcome anything, that with my relentless spirit I will do more than get through it I will conquer.

Thanks for this little public pep talk.  Think about the words you say to yourself and the thoughts you think.  Manifest the good within you and watch it blossom!

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

You can do it BABY

We came to bump, bump, bump, bump

Torpids week has come and gone, and I’m already feeling its absence.  My first racing experience was a lot of fun, and helped show me that sport is sport …and while rowing and rhythmic gymnastics have their first letter in common, there are many more similarities than that!

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Day 1:
Wednesday meant our first real exposure to bumps racing.  For the majority of our crew, who have only been rowing for a few months we knew there was going to be a lot of excitement and things to take in. The whole set up of a bumps race is overwhelming – cannons being shot off 5 minutes, 1 minutes and then at GO.  A crew you’re chasing and someone chasing you!  Our biggest challenge was to keep our head in the boat and stick to the technique we’d been working so hard to improve (after our slightly disastrous time trial where our coach wanted to disown us).  We were second in the line up and chasing a crew (Green Templeton) that was 15 seconds faster in rowing on (or Friday’s time trial).  As a result we ended up rowing over – which means racing the whole course and not bumping nor getting bumped.  Pretty good for our first go.

Day 2:
There was a new crew (Merton) in front of us as they had been bumped down from the division up. We were excited to continue our path of improvement and eager for our first bump… except the whole concept of getting so close to a boat to actually make contact or over take them proved to be a bit distracting.  As 7 seat and close to the stern of the boat I have no concept of what was going on behind… but it seemed like when we got close to the crew we were chasing we stopped rowing together (and some of us actually stopped rowing).  Thankfully we got it together and did end up getting them, and most importantly it gave us another learning experience!  NEVER STOP ROWING 😉

As the top boat in our division we became the sandwich boat which means you race as the bottom boat in the division up.  Using our first bump as an opportunity to get the kinks out we were eager to catch the crew in front of us which was Green Templeton.  We knew that they were bigger and faster off the line, but we also knew we were able to gain ground over the course and eager to hunt them down and “make them hurt”.  With a stronger start we were very close to catching them but they managed to hold off.  They ended up bumping the crew in front of them (Exeter) and in doing so set us up well to bump Exeter too!  In bumps racing the crew you bump must continue to row (while a crew that bumps stops rowing).  Another race – more learning and a day with two bumps… W2 was feeling pretty good!

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Day 3:
With yesterday’s final race we had moved up into Division 4.  We were determined to stay here as it is a fixed division and means that Oriel W2 won’t have to qualify for Torpids next year!  We were chasing Green Templeton again and knew the job we had to do.  It was another hard push to try and take them.  Our Coxswain Emily kept asking for a hard 10, which was quickly followed by another hard 5 and another hard 10… and I kept wondering where they were and how much more we had to do to get them.  In the end it was another situation like Thursday – they were able to stay far enough away and catch the crew in front (this time LMH), and then we were able to bump LMH.

Day 4:
Our final day, and we were eager to make it our 4th bump in a row.  We were feeling confident that we had improved as each race went on and we were committed to giving that extra bit to close the gap.  We had one of our strongest starts and the boat was feeling good (except for the whole pushing so hard you want to die bit, but that’s a given right?!).  Then about half way through disaster struck… the oar lock on Seat 4 came open, and it was bent so when she tried to close it, it wouldn’t lock.  Now with only seven blades in the water we were not only trying to hunt down a strong crew in front of us but trying to stave off being caught by LMH who could see exactly what was happening… On the side people could hear their Coxswain asking for a push to catch us, but even down a rower we were maintaining the distance.

In bumps racing, there’s often a hard push at the beginning because you know if you give it then the race can end quickly.  Push for the bump and you may barely row half the course (or less! like our M2 crew did most days!).  BUT, pushing  hard early and not getting the bump means rowing the entire course when you’re dead.  Combine that with the confusion and frustration of an equipment malfunction meant a less than awesome last row.  It was definitely not how we wanted to finish.  It’s like having an incredible meal and then dessert is rotten fruit.

But honestly I don’t know if Torpids could have gone better for us.  Our coach took a crew of girls (6 of 8 who hadn’t rowed before), pushed them hard these last few months, and then magically in the span of a week turned them into a team.  We hadn’t rowed together before the time trial and somehow came together with a hungry spirit and determined attitude.  And this is just the beginning. Summer Eights. Oriel W2 is coming for you!

And this is why I love sport.  It’s fun yes, but it teaches you so much.
When I was a gymnast I was never about ‘beating someone else’… in gymnastics it’s tough to actually do that unless you mean literally taking my club and beating someone – and hey, I’m not about physical violence!  It was always about me being perfect. Me being the best version of me.  And I thought that was different in ‘racing sports’.  But my first racing experience showed me that even in a race, when you’re trying to be faster than someone,  you really do have to row your own race.  Especially in rowing when a crew may be behind you and you have NO CLUE where they are.  Especially in rowing when a crew may be gaining on you – but if you start flailing around trying to keep them at bay you’ll likely lose it faster than you think.

The other thing I learned is that sport is like life. And sometimes things happen in life – that you can’t predict, explain, prepare for.  And what do you do then? Learn. Grow. Get tougher. Get hungrier.  And learn some more.  No it’s not fair.  No it’s not necessarily happy or fun to have those things happen, but are they a valuable part of life – yes. Definitely.  Will they make you stronger. 100% (if you let them).

The final thing I learned during this regatta is that my husband is certifiably insane.  Part way through our first race I thought “oh geez Malcolm and his teammates have to do this for 18 minutes”.  And so hats off to you crazy boat race rowers.  I will never race on the tideway, but my experience on the Isis was one I’ll never forget.

I never imagined I’d be a rower, and I don’t even think I can call myself that.  But I am a proud teammate, eager training partner, motivational speaker and of course team mom!  And I never thought I’d say this but… when are we erging next?!!

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Torpids

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek. Fear of the unknown is our greatest fear. Many of us would enter a tiger’s lair before we would enter a dark cave. While caution is a useful instinct, we lose many opportunities and much of the adventure of life if we fail to support the curious explorer within us.” ~ Joseph Campbell

The last two years of my life have been about rowing. It is something that we’ve lived, breathed, ate & slept. Of course up until four months ago I hadn’t sat in a boat or picked up an oar.

My life was about helping my husband, Malcolm Howard in his quest for a second Olympic medal.  After he and his teammates achieved that goal in London this summer, we moved to Oxford in order for him to pursue his Masters.  With little to do initially, I jokingly said to the OUWBC President who was coaching some of the Oriel Novice Women “Should I learn to row?”.  The next day I had a tank session.  And that’s how my rowing career began.

I took to the water after two tank sessions, likely under some false preconceived ideas of what it would be like.  After watching Olympic crews I knew I wasn’t going to be good, but I  didn’t think the suck would be so bad.  I came off the water that day in tears and has VERY reluctant to go back.

The next outing was an inter-college mini regatta. My crew won. Things were looking up.  After a long pause for my return-to-Canada-Visa-trip and the Holidays it was back to training.  This was where things actually got fun.

I began to like erg-ing. Anyone who has done Crossfit with me knows my disdain for the erg.  I think it was invented as a torture device.  BUT, little did I know I would enjoy 25 minutes pieces, and be thrilled to be back in the gym doing circuits and pushing hard to build strength and fitness.

The weather in England has not been very rowing friendly this year.  Flooding meant many red flags and ‘closures’ of the Isis.  While this did mean some fun trips to Wallingford (including one where Malcolm and the OUBC squad were training as well… talk about trying to keep your head in the boat while your husband yells “ERIKA” as you row by!), it also meant that the ‘newbies’ didn’t get out on the water as much as we’d hoped.

Then the 6th week of term arrived. I had been away in Canada for a wedding and returned to Oxford just in time for Rowing On.  This is when boats in the lower categories have to race a time trial in order to qualify and rank themselves for Torpids.  I’m happy I remembered how to row, having not been in a boat for a few weeks, and even happier to say we qualified!

Now the task will be getting the boat to move quickly, while we keep our focus amidst the craziness around us.  I’m not 100% sure what the experience will be like, but BUMPS racing is insane. Boats are lined up along the river according to ranking, and the objective is to catch and overtake or bump the crew in front of you.  I feel like it’s rowing+american gladiators… and I’m oh-so looking forward to it!

Hopefully I will have many stories to share by the end of the week!
Keep your fingers crossed for us and send some Oriel love this way 🙂

“The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential… these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.”
~ Confucious

P.S The boat race is only 33 days away.  Check out theboatrace.org for information or whichblueareyou.com to vote for Oxford and the Dark Blue!!!!

P.P.S Next year stay tuned for when Malcolm takes up either dancing or rhythmic gymnastics (we’ll be holding a vote for you to decide which!!!!)

The definition of me

How do you define yourself?  Do you use your job (a teacher, doctor, lawyer, stay-at-home)? Do you use your hobbies/passions (yogi, crossfitter, runner, knitter, scrapbooker)? Do you use your family (mom, dad, sister, brother, cousin, aunt)?  Do you use your accomplishments (success, failure, graduate, Olympian)?

Success definition

The concept of defining oneself has come to my mind a number of times in the last year.  Things started to hit home when I came to London for the Olympics and was surrounded by everything that alluded me.  If you’ve read my earlier posts you know that while a small part of me is saddened by the fact that I didn’t make the Olympic team (twice), you will also know it’s likely the best thing that ever happened to me.  But accepting that also meant accepting the fact that I could never call myself an Olympian – although in reality I was pretty much everything but.  In London I would also be Malcolm Howard’s wife.  Being Mrs. Howard is always a source of pride, yet to be known through someone else somehow diminishes one’s own accomplishments and identity.

It’s the same when you go to a party and meet new people and everyone starts out with “what do you do?”.  Often I feel like replying “what don’t I do?” How can you be defined by one thing.  Exactly, you can’t.  The definition of me is always changing.  As life evolves, I learn and grow and evolve too (one hopes!).

I thought about this as my husband and his teammates prepare and begin selection for the 2013 Boat Race.  These men have given years of their life to their sport, just like I did (way back when).  They put other aspects of their lives on hold, and risk failing in other areas like their education or personal lives because of the high demands required.  And so many things can go wrong.  They can get injured, sick, or those other ‘demands’ might get too demanding.  Achievement often means every star is perfectly aligned.  I first realized that as an athlete, and now I see it repeatedly as a coach and supporter.  People who could and should win, don’t.  And sometimes the people whom you never thought would be in the picture suddenly come through because everything came together at exactly the right moment.  Is it timing? Fate? Luck? Perhaps.  Maybe it is our destiny. Or maybe it is just life.  Some things go for us, some against us.  And in those times when life seems against us, and we feel like a failure – that is when we must learn, and grow, and evolve.  Winning is easy.  Not achieving what you want, but acting like a winner is TOUGH!  Seeing someone else living your dreams means you must swallow your ego and appreciate their journey.

But there’s that magical word. Journey.  Just because I took the entire road to get to the Olympics but can never call myself an Olympian – does that make me less than someone who can?  No.  And anyone who thinks it does has obviously never walked that line.

The next time you stare down your dreams and do everything in your power to achieve them – know that you can already define yourself as a winner. As strong. As courageous.  As a success.  Regardless of the outcome.

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Give some MO!

As November comes to a close you can see the women of the world a little more jovial and optimistic.  Why? you ask… Well the last day of Movember is upon us, and as a wise man once said: [It’s] A day of much rejoicing and grief all wrapped into one. The ladies cheer and the men shed a tear for the lip fur coats worn at this time of year.  (ps. check out Dave’s Mo Space for his sweet manscaping skills)

I myself am filled with mixed emotions. Pride that my dear husband’s ‘lip fur coat’ is coming on stronger than ever, and relief that it will soon be gone (please no Decembeard).  [Husband Note: at least by the time I’m back! Thanks!]

How convenient that the Boat Race photos were taking during Movember!

This cause is something near and dear to our hearts as Malcolm’s father battled Prostate Cancer.  I know that most of us have known someone closely who have been affected by Cancer. If you’re able I’m asking you to donate whatever you can.  Please feel free to check out Malcolm’s page and donate there (or if you’d prefer go to Dave’s page – the link is above, or even on the Movember site).  Together, we can make a difference!

For more information check out Prostate Cancer Canada!  Thank you for your generosity and support.  My philosophy is: If your Mo can’t be big and full, at least your donation pot can be!

My Mo… putting the boys to shame

New Adventure: Prologue

Today, Malcolm departed for Oxford and so it begins: The NEW Adventure! (Although my Nanna would argue that it’s just the next, as the world is our home and we’re on adventures constantly).  I haven’t departed quite yet, I’m letting my husband chivalrously set up our flat and scope things out, but I will be joining him in a few weeks!

It all feels much more real now – the fact that we’re moving to a new country, leaving our friends and family (for a year or so), starting school again (Malcolm), trying to find a job (me), and getting our first place together (OH NO, what will we do without our Mom/Mum).  My Mother has a brilliant saying: “the anticipation is worse than the participation”  Now you might think from that quote that I am not SUPER DUPER excited – which would be false. My use of cap-locks demonstrates I am clearly thrilled. However, it is change, which brings with it not only incredible possibilities but also the need to let go (which, when you are a control-aholic like me is an itsybitsy bit challenging).  I do think that change is good for us. And I know this coming year is going to be an eye-opening, mind expanding, awe inspiring, heart filling adventure and I am totally up for it!

Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be. -John Wooden 

Before we headed off, we were joined by two dear friends of ours for a brief visit while they were on the West Coast.  Sharing in laughs and catching up makes me very very happy!  I am constantly overwhelmed at how blessed I am to have so many wonderful people in my life. For me, this is what makes my life complete – the people I get to share it with!  So if you are reading this – you’re likely one of those people that makes such a positive contribution to my life, sharing your love, hugs, insight, knowledge & support (no matter where in this world you are), and for that I thank you!

An image I took during my visit to NY.

It also feels appropriate to begin this adventure on this day 9/11… a day that will always reinforce our perspective of what is truly important.  My thoughts are with the people who give so much of themselves not only in times of crisis, but on a daily basis. And my mind also goes to those who are my personal heroes… my anchors.  Your service, your support and your selflessness help and unite us all.

I saw this quote (below) today, and I feel it is an apt reminder for us all.

Fortune favours the brave. — Virgil

Keep your head up, your heart open, your mind focused and your nerves steeled… believe in your dreams, go after adventures, and know what a difference you can make (after all we’re in this together). ~ eh.

Both images were taken during my 2007 Visit to NY.

 

Let the hangover begin!!!

In as many ways as the Olympics start with a bang, they also finish equally abruptly.  It is quite remarkable how something you plan and prepare for, for years is suddenly upon you… and then it’s all over in what feels like the blink of an eye.  Yesterday, as I had some time to myself I began to realize the overwhelming surge of emotions that I had obviously suppressed (for the most part).  The Olympics is inevitably one of the greatest emotional roller coasters of all time. Someone you know (or at least feel an affinity for) is experiencing their greatest triumph or their greatest defeat.  If someone you love/care about/know is competing, you want, so very strongly, for them to perform well and yet have no capacity to do anything other than love, wish, pray, and cheer. (And we all know I do a lot of all of these – especially the latter. Which is why this picture was so meaningful to me!)

A billboard in London that captures my sentiments exactly!

But enough about that. What’s happened has happened. It is impossible to stay up all of the time, and it was a remarkable few weeks. Besides as Dr. Seuss once wrote: “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

And smile I did. Of course my husband winning a silver had a lot to do with it.  To see their ability to overcome themselves, unite, refocus and then do what they are capable of was remarkable. (If you just get out of your own way… it’s amazing what will come to you. -Laird Hamilton.)  It was also a lot of fun catching other events, taking in the atmosphere and pride of Great Britain and cheering on incredibly talented athletes.

But, one of the most fun parts was doing analysis for CTV. If you know me (and likely for most of you reading this, you know me well), you know that it is a role I would treasure. It is in fact a role I have been rehearsing for most of my life.  You see, when I was a young girl, not only would I practice gymnastics in my back yard, but after my routine I would interview myself. Destiny? Fate? Perhaps…

Jumping into a position you’ve never done while the entire nation is watching is, to put it mildly, slightly nerve wracking. I kept reminding myself that the majority of people watching were going to be the people who love me most, and like my mother, well you’re stuck with me and I’m pretty sure you’d still love me regardless of the outcome.  BUT, I have to say I was surprised, pleased and overwhelmed with the outpouring of positive comments and support. Thank you one and all for your kind messages!  My artistic gymnastics counterpart Kyle Shewfelt, warned me not to look at twitter or facebook during the broadcast – and with much hesitation I went against his advice. Thankfully at this point no one has highlighted those moments where I stuck my foot in my mouth, or began to go down one path and half way down realized “ahhh I don’t want to be here!” so I aborted mission.  If you do have constructive criticism I would eventually like to hear it (lovingly wrapped in kindness of course), because hopefully this will not be my last broadcasting opportunity.

On set with Rod Black ready to tape the Review/Preview

I think it was so much fun because I was working with one of the best – Rod Black. He along with the production team were so helpful and nurturing, guiding me the whole way along.  I was lucky to be in London so that I had a chance to check out the venue since initially CTV wanted me to ‘call it’ from Toronto.  In fact, perhaps you were not aware but the whole time Rod and I were in a little black booth in the International Broadcast Centre!!!

Our little black booth

It’s too bad we didn’t get to experience it live, but I’m not complaining. The accreditation pass I received is too good to be true – and if I ever make it to another Olympic Games I don’t know how I’d live without one. There were even a few times where I could get somewhere and Malcolm couldn’t – a shocking first, and second, and…. (hehehe)

 

As I lived and breathed these last few weeks in my various capacities I often wondered what makes the Olympics so special.  It is so powerful to be a part of the World coming together to celebrate people’s dreams, their excellence through work & passion, and to unite in harmony.  We revel in the stories regardless of sport, nation, or gender. But there is magic beyond this.  Perhaps it is because unlike the NHL with it’s 82 games per season, or the MLB with 162 (!!!), these competitors have one shot. Everything must come together in this particular moment in time. And what a challenge that is. For every athlete that wins there are so many more that are fighting for that podium. For every athlete that qualifies and competes there are thousands who have been so close. Yes, Olympians are incredible… but can’t it really be about the journey and not the destination (even in the aftermath of London 2012)?!

The lack of over saturation of amateur sport and the Olympics helps to maintain its allure and importance.  Yet many of these athletes (after taking a brief pause) will be back training for Rio very soon.  One person who always remembered – in the good times, the bad, and before they were stars was Randy Starkman.  He was a journalist, but more importantly a friend and advocate of amateur athletes, always caring more about the person than the story.  When he died suddenly in April of this year, the sporting world mourned. It was an honour to attend a breakfast remembering Randy and the legacy he left behind.

One of the catch phrases of these Olympics was “Inspiring a Generation”.  I know I was personally moved and motivated by the performances I saw, by the people who made the  Games happen (the volunteers were outstanding), by the triumphs and those who rose out of the ashes, and by the friendships gained along the way.  I hope you have been inspired as much I have – and I hope that we can all continue to give life to the Olympic ideals until the next torch is lit in Rio.

PS. I say this like the Para-Olympic Games aren’t just a few weeks away! PHEW, we couldn’t just end it right there… please be sure to tune in. If you thought you were already inspired, you haven’t seen anything yet!!!!

Taking in the excitement of Olympic Park

 

What goes up… must come down ;)

The Olympics are a roller coaster. They have to be. No one can stay UP that long. Furthermore inherently when there is a winner – there are those that don’t win… I’m not using the L word because NO ONE here is that awful five letter word. They are all champions, they are all heroes.

Yesterday in particular was one of those days… it was utterly heartbreaking to see Paula Findley’s experience.  The dangerous course took it’s tool on her, as well as the challenging year she’s had.  She is a tremendous athlete and person.  I know that this experience however frustrating and ‘saddening’ is truly going to make her even better in the long run. That has always been my experience.  We (Malcolm, Anita, Alex & I) were at Canada Olympic House when the Cycling team pursuit and Trampoline were on.  From the lowest of lows, to literally the highest of highs (Rosie & Karen) when Canada won it’s first Olympic Medal and Karen showed true class in her fourth Olympics.

Yesterday was also a low day for me… although I suppose going to bed at 5:30 am will do that to you 😉 I think “it” all finally got to me. The highs, the emotions, the lack of sleep. Yesterday I was a wreck. AND I was loosing my voice. A slight occupational hazard when the Commentary has yet to begin… Well, as my mom has always called me ‘wretched excess’ so it’s really no surprise.  Alas, it’s time to get a bit of balance.

It is hard not to do everything – or try to.  But the distance of where we’re staying, the distances to walk at all of the venues, and the crowds make it all seem like a battle to get to where you’re going.  Olympic Park is vast and when you put that in combination with millions of people it’s not a place I’ve enjoyed very much thus far.  But, I suppose if it’s a fight to get to the Olympics for the athletes why should it be any different for us?!

I suppose now I should talk about what you’re all likely wondering: Is Prince Harry really that cute in person? Malcolm (and I) did have the honour of representing the Rowers during Prince Harry’s visit to Canada Olympic House. It was a pleasure to meet him – he truly is very kind and generous, and very relaxed… I have a tendency to think “he’s just another guy who was born into a certain life”… but it is impressive what he’s done with his life and his position.  The most fun was watching how easy the conversation was as Malcolm talked Apache helicopters during the race… boys will be boys 😉

Anyways. The day is calling and there’s always a tonne to do. I should head off but hopefully the next post will be a little more frequent and I will try to post some pictures too. Here’s to another great day!!!!